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My name is Matthew Frank

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Diapers – What the….?

Have any of you tried to wade through the sea of information, opinions, and safety concerns about diapers? Well I was just provided with the wonderful opportunity to do that these past few days (Nah… no sarcasm here!)  And let me tell you, it’s a mess… literally! (no pun intended)

Our friends Alejandro and Renee have decided to go the cloth diaper route which is what my mother used on me. My  wife however, has only ever used disposables so she wasn’t totally comfortable with the idea of cloth so, realizing that she was the one who’d be doing most of the diaper changes,  I went on a mission to find out the pros and cons of all the different types of diapers and to find the best for our Baby without breaking the bank.

Do a search on Google for “Best Diapers” and you’ll turn up over 4.5 million sites! I was not off to a good start! So I refined my searching to only 3 options. 1. Disposable diapers, 2. Cloth Diaper Service, and 3. Alternative Disposables.

Well, I wound up finding a local company who does a cloth diaper service (our biggest hang up is having a tiny washer and dryer and trying to do all those diapers ourselves could be, well, difficult.) The local company, Eco-Baby, is based out of Monument and costs about $75 a month. Well, that’s fine and dandy, but that’s significantly more expensive than disposable diapers.

Colin Frog Diaper sized Diapers What the....? Diapers
Happy Eco-Baby (*Rolls Eyes*)

So I  started to look at disposable diapers and the costs involved, around $55-$65 a month depending on the brand and age of the baby, but then I start to find all kinds of articles about the “Dangers of disposable diapers” and how they have all these toxins and carcinogens and can turn your baby into a two headed, three legged mutant. (Crazy fanatics!) And then on top of that, they guilt-trip you about the fact that it takes 500 years for a disposable diaper to “bio-degrade” and it’s “filling up our landfills and destroying our planet! GO GREEN!” … take a deep breath… it’s ok to scream! Does anyone else agree that it’s wise to respect our planet? Me too,  but I’m not about to go broke trying to save the planet from the diapers my baby will use in his lifetime!

So I’m thinking to myself, “Self, there must be another way to get the best of both worlds and not go broke in the process!” And my research skills paid off! I discovered the Seventh Generation brand of diapers.
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Oh Yes, the perfect diaper.... icon biggrin Diapers What the....? Diapers ... or is it?

Well, enter the world of the chlorine-free, toxin-free disposable diaper!  Over the lifetime of the baby in diapers, I calculated out that these diapers would cost less than the big economy packages at Sams’ club! And they are so much safer for Baby. The only problem is that they are – brace yourself – Brown!
Now I’m not about to make statement that “This is the way you should diaper your kids!” or “I found the best way” or anything like that. No, this is only what we decided will work best for us. No guilt trips to any of you who use the “toxic kid-mutating planet destroying, ‘we will assimilate you’ WHITE diapers”! (yes, this is a joke, I believe everyone has the responsibility to make the choice they feel is best for their family.) So… This is what we are deciding to do: We are going to try the cloth diapers because it’s the cheapest by far, saving us over $2,800 over the period of our diaper-years. If we decide that we really can’t do it or hate it, we can go to these great baby-booty-friendly (yay no chemicals!) and Eco-friendly (groan) diapers that are just as easy disposable diapers which are still cheaper than the standard ones. Yay! Mission accomplished!
…. but there is one problem. THE DIAPERS WON’T BE WHITE! ADVERT YOUR EYES, IT IS SHEER HORROR!

dipes3 Diapers What the....? Diapers

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This entry was posted on Friday, September 4th, 2009 at 10:34 am and is filed under Baby Stories, Funny or Light-hearted. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
10:34 am | by Matthew Frank

  • Mary Baerg

    Welcome to the unending world of decisions about your baby! Funny post! And, then there’s always dealing with what actually *fits* your baby (only one brand really fit Ronan well and didn’t leak), which you won’t know until your there ; ) I trust you’ll find your way! Enjoy the journey!!

  • Linda Janssen

    Its amazing how many different types of diapers there are, isn’t it? We have always used one kind of disposables because they were the only ones that didn’t leak and fit both kids well. I have been thinking about trying a hybrid diaper like “G diapers.” Its sort of between a disposable and a cloth diaper. Just one more kind to throw in the mix! Good luck figuring out which one works the best for your little one! That will likely be your deciding factor!

  • Ginger Frank

    Very funny post Matthew! I thoroughly enjoyed reading about all the research you put into this and I applaud you for doing so. This will be just one of the multitude of decisions you’ll be called upon to make. What a joyous time….enjoy it to the max!
    I can’t wait!!!!!

  • Zach Perkins

    Nice! Yep…when we were having Selah, we came across this dilemma. We really wanted to do cloth diapers badly, but our current living situation would not allow it. Maybe someday we will do it, but since we live in an apartment and get our laundry done off-site, it’s pretty difficult.

    Just find what works for you and your schedule. If Melissa doesn’t mind the extra effort, I say -do it!

  • http://www.kingdomtwindom.com Sarah Valente

    AHAHAHAHA! What a great post! I’m a friend of Renee and Alejandro’s (we met briefly at the hospital) and I click over here from time to time. You have quite and gift and I was laughing hysterically through this one!

  • Jay Frank

    Awesome story bro! Even though we do favor the side of “green”, we didn’t make the leap to cloth. Looking back, I wish we tried. I’m sure you’ll let us know how it goes! :)

  • Mike Grant

    Do we old folks have a choice or are we stuck with Depends? lol

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