Why do marriages fail? Why does the church have a higher divorce rate than the world? How can we be a witness and testimony to those around us if we are in worse shape than those we are trying to share the love of God with? I mean, as a Christian, I’m often saddened by the lack of character of the men I see around me. (Yes, I count myself in with those of us who have had a multitude of mistakes and failures.) I’m not talking about everyone or anyone that is reading this blog, but I see it on the news, I hear about it from friends, and I can sense it as a spirit of abandonment and selfishness that hangs in the air around so many men. The problem is evident in the world around us, but it’s just as evident or even more so now in the church around us. Wake up! The institution of marriage is not failing because it’s out-dated or antiquated, but it is failing because more and more men are simply giving up. Ladies, I believe that you are of equal value, importance, and have amazing gifts and insight and wisdom to bring to any marriage so don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. But with the absence of godly and sacrificial male leadership, the institution of marriage crumbles. It’s because so many of us do not stand up and take our God-given responsibilities seriously. We stand on the sidelines and watch as we grant the enemy free access to our families and our marriages. “Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” (Ephesians 5:14 NIV)

I have much more to share on this topic, but I wanted to just say that I believe that we have a duty as men to stand up and take our place as the heads of our household. And I don’t mean being dominant and controlling. I mean, we shouldn’t shirk from our responsibilities to be self-sacrificing and loving leaders. That means placing your wife and your children’t needs above your own (yes, your wife’s needs come above all else).  It means believing the best about your wife and praying for her every single day. It means believing the best about your children and praying for them every single day. It means standing in victory over addictions like pornography by holding yourself accountable with other men and especially your wife! It means crucifying your own selfish nature on the cross every day. And it means speaking words of life to your family every day.

The following is a woman’s perspective prayer for marriages. It was written by a friend of a friend, Kingdom Momma.  She wrote this back in January and I had to share it here. It blessed me so much that I had to share it. I hope it blesses you as much as it blessed me.

Perfect God and vastly creative Heavenly Father, I come to you in desire of your perfect will for marriage. I beg you to turn our hearts to you and teach us to love the things that you love. Separate us from our selfishness, and give us the grace to lay down our lives for each other.

Give wives the great strength to be women. Teach us to pray with fervency and to speak with gentleness. Teach us to love our husbands as men and to truly understand what they need. Show us how to suffer in silence and how to stand and fight. Comfort us when our husbands fail us, and never let their failures cause us to doubt your goodness and love. Keep our soft hearts soft, and soften them where they’re hard. And help us to weigh your Spirit in us far above our fleshly desires.

Give our husbands the strength to be men. Grow them up in the warrior power of your Holy Spirit. Reveal the true manliness of commitment and protection to their bloodied and used souls. Heal their broken hearts, and be the father and shepherd to their boyishness. Turn their hearts wholly to their wives, and teach them to love with selfless abandon.

Give married couples the strength to fight. Teach us to fight fair, and teach us to fight for the things worth fighting for. Make us one in body, mind, and spirit, that we may truly reflect your son and His bride. Protect that precious picture through everything that we do. Make us selfless and tender, forgiving and kind, and always slow to anger.

Protect us from offense and temptation. Teach us to speak your words, and to speak them often. Give us time to spend with one another and remove distraction and worry from our minds. Let us return to romance, pure and holy, childlike and fun.

Bless us, heal us, and restore us by the power of your incredible name. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Written by Kingdom Momma (http://www.kingdomtwindom.com/2009/01/my-prayer-for-marriage.html)