Joy. That’s what I see in the eyes of my wife. An insatiable joy as she peers down at her ever expanding belly. A smile spreads across her face as she envisions holding that precious baby in her arms for the first time.
I will never fully understand women. They are complex, non-logical (to my geek-driven logical mind), emotionally driven, and overall confusing. But within each woman is a seed implanted by God himself at their conception – a seed of motherhood. For many, this seed is buried deep inside and never allowed to sprout to life – they may claim many reasons – career, time, energy, etc. But all women have it. As a soon-to-be daddy, I have found myself observing the emotions and feelings of my wife far more closely as it pertains to motherhood. I’ve seen that seed begin to sprout and grow. In her life, it is beginning to blossom as I see her interact with our son. Even though he is yet unborn, it’s almost as if she misses him. As if Caleb Joshua is supposed to be in her arms at this very moment. In my mind’s eye, I already see her holding his tiny little body close to hers – enveloping him in her arms with the radiance of pure love and joy pouring forth from her entire being.
As we sit together, looking into each other’s eyes, Melissa and I both smile – we share a deep and rich love and affection for each other unsurpassed by our wildest imagination. And yet, that love can expand to include another. Melissa put it best when she said that “… the beauty of the human heart is that it was designed to expand to accommodate more love than we could ever imagine.” What my wife has said so beautifully is a glimpse of what true love is and the Source from which it comes.
All love comes from God. He IS love. His love is limitless, timeless, selfless, and all consuming. Our love is finite and limited in comparison. So the miracle of love and of life is that when we are blessed with the opportunity to love a new person gifted to our family through the miracle of birth, it is as if Christ himself reaches down into each of our hearts and expands them with his gentle and tender hands. We do not lose love for each other, nay we gain more for each other as the heart expands and yet there is now room for what seems to be a limitless love for this new little person.
I am so proud to be a daddy. In fact, a couple nights ago I picked up a gift from our first baby shower that was a blanket that said “I Love Daddy” on it. I lost it. It suddenly became real for the first time since Melissa got pregnant. When I say “real” I mean I suddenly felt connected to my son as if he were in my arms gazing up at me with his big eyes full of wonder and life. The miracle happened at that very moment – I felt my heart expand in a remarkable way that I cannot explain or describe. Nothing anyone has said or could have said could have prepared me for that moment. The tears flowed as I watched my dear wife behold in her mind’s eye that same beautiful bundle of life. In that one moment, which seemed to stretch on for eternity, we both connected in a very real and spiritual way, to our son, Caleb.
Son, when you read this someday, you will know the love I speak of. You will be shown, told, and surrounded by love every day of your life. Mommy and Daddy only want the best for you and your life. You are a precious gift of God and we await your arrival with eager anticipation.
And as we wait, I realize that I am beginning to become a daddy – and I watch with excitement and love as my lovely wife blooms – she is becoming mommy.