So it has finally arrived. The nebulous mystical 37th week when the proverbial goose is cooked and the tea kettle is whistling… well, so they say any-who. The 37th week of pregnancy is a mile-marker of sorts because from this day forward, Caleb is considered “full term” which simply put means that his body and most importantly, his lungs, are fully developed and ready to enter the world. It strikes me as odd how all of a sudden, I find myself impatient.  The realization that my son is now ready to enter this world is all at once joyful and exciting as well as trying on my patience. I want to meet him. I want to hold him in my arms and kiss his little face. I want to feel his tiny fingers, count his tiny toes. I want to know the mystery and marvelous wonder of what it means to be a daddy. I wish that moment were here now but on the opposite side of the same coin, I am scared because I do not know what to expect. This “final destination” or really, a beginning of a new life, is barreling down on us like a freight train. There is no stopping, no going back – “do not pass go, do not collect $200″. Even when I feel somewhat out of control, I still find that I am anxious – like a small child who impatiently taps his fingers on the corner of his school desk because he knows he only has 20 minutes before school lets out and he gets to go to Disneyland for the weekend. The arrival of my first-born son, the transformation of my darling wife and myself into parents, first smiles, first steps, first words – all of these amazing and wonderful events are in our future and I can hardly wait for their arrival!

The past 9 months have blurred by in a moment. It seems like just yesterday we found out that Melissa was pregnant. It seems like just yesterday that we had the joy of finding out that we have a baby boy in mommy’s tummy. It seems like just yesterday that we got our crib set up in the nursery… wait, that was yesterday! Yes, the drama of the nursery furniture has continued, but that is a long story and should be told in another post.

You see, I’ve begun to realize why there is a 9 month pregnancy. God could have easily caused the process to take only a couple months, but instead, he chose 9. Anyone who has had a baby can probably say “amen!” to the conclusion I’ve reached. God built the human body to take 9 months to grow not because we needed that time to develop but because the new parents need that time to fully come to grips with reality – to come around from sheer panic and a little bit of excitement to sheer excitement and a little bit of panic!  Over the last 9 months, I have really noticed a change in the core of myself. A change I can’t fully quantify logically so I have to describe it creatively. I remember the day we found out Melissa was pregnant as clearly as crystal. The moment the gasp came from Melissa’s lips, I felt a little ember spark into existence in the depths of my soul. It wasn’t anything dramatic – I didn’t cry or jump up and down or squeal for joy, but there was a change. Are there any men out there who love to start camp fires? Raise your hand! You and I both know that the only way to start a fire without an accelerant such as lighter fluid, white gas, or nitroglycerin – is to gently blow on the tiny flames at the base of a fire just after you have lit the kindling. The gentle breath greatly increases the speed at which the fire burns the fuel due to the dramatic increase in oxygen. That is how I feel that God has been “breathing” into my soul. His breath of life flowed into the first cells of that tiny human life to endow an eternal soul. That same breath has been gently breathing into my soul to bring that little spark into a full raging fire. Even though I am anxious to meet my son and can hardly stand the wait, I understand now why there is a wait. Had a stork dropped Caleb in our arms 8 months ago, we would have run screaming in the other direction! (Partly because of the somewhat disturbing thought of a bird carrying a baby!) But in these past months, the desire to become a daddy has transformed in my heart from a nebulous “holy-moly, I don’t want to grow up” moment, to a concrete and beautiful “I am honored to be given this gift from God to raise up, cherish, and protect”.

I thank God for the 9 months, the 40 weeks, the 280 days, the 6,720 hours that he gives us so that he can work a miracle in our hearts and souls. I don’t want Caleb to come before the perfect time God has ordained for him. And yet I anxiously wait so that I can stand hand-in-hand with my darling wife, looking towards the future of our world and our eternal future, and join with the countless other families as we start this journey as a FAMILY. The two that became one have created life by the grace of Almighty God. What a miracle life is!