The time has come. On Sunday, December 6th at 12:26 am, our son Caleb Joshua Frank was born weighing in at 9lbs 5oz and measuring 22in long!

Forgive me because this story is quite long and I normally try to avoid writing such long posts. The plan is to tell the entire birth story from my perspective. Melissa will write about it from her perspective soon as well.

To fully illustrate this story through the written word, I must begin with Scripture. Psalm 139:13-14 NIV says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Emphasis mine)

As some of you may know, Melissa’s pregnancy was not planned. We wanted kids but we had not yet felt a peace about “trying”.  In December 2008, we had what you could call a “pregnancy scare”, when we thought Melissa had gotten pregnant. As a result, we immediately stopped using artificial birth control. In short order, we began to get excited about the possibility of a baby. Our dear friends, Alejandro and Renee had just conceived and were only a few weeks along in their first trimester and it seemed like such a great time to get pregnant. Both of the ladies could be pregnant together! But it wasn’t meant to be – Melissa was not pregnant. In somewhat of a spur-of-the-moment decision, we decided to start trying – well, not really trying to get pregnant, but not doing anything to stop it either.   January came and went with no success. I was more excited about the possibility of a pregnancy than my lovely wife was at the time. As we neared the end of February and realized that again Melissa had not gotten pregnant, we had some very deep conversations about our future. I really wanted to have a baby – my heart was set on it. On the other hand, Melissa was beginning to feel apprehensive about the whole idea and realized she didn’t feel ready at all. Understanding that my wife would go through much more than I would physically and emotionally, we settled on waiting until Fall of 2009 before we would again address the topic and reevaluate our situation – one of the primary factors being our goal of getting out of debt before we brought a new baby home.

Fast forward to March.  Taking the gentle advice of Alejandro and Renee, we decided to try the Natural Family Planning Method (for more on this method you can visithttp://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/women/contraceptive/126.html we were using a combination of both methods).  This method worked very well for us over the next couple months. That is… until March.  We had just gotten back from the wedding of my childhood friend on the East Coast and Melissa developed an acute case of jaw pain. The pain as it turns out, was a result of a severe muscle spasm in her jaw that pinched the primary nerve running along her jaw line.  This “charlie-horse” was inflamed by stress and grinding/clenching her teeth at night.  When I say “acute” I mean pain that could cause her to drop to the floor moaning and sometimes screaming with tears streaming down her face. I felt so helpless. Thankfully, we got her in to see a jaw specialist who very quickly diagnosed the problem correctly and custom made a small appliance she wears at night that prevents the grinding and clenching.

Unbeknownst to us, this traumatic pain threw off Melissa’s menstrual cycle – one thing led to another and we found out at the end of March that she had gotten pregnant. At first, we were shocked and scared spit-less, but as time went on and the pregnancy progressed we realized how incredibly blessed we were to have been given this gift from God. He made the decision for us which turned out to be a relief because I don’t know if we could have made the choice to say “ok, now we’re ready to start a family”.

Fast-forward with me to December 2009. On the morning of December 2^nd, we went in for our routine OBGYN appointment and found out that Melissa had dilated to 3cm and was 70% effaced.  At 4-5cm, active labor begins! However, knowing that a woman can be at 3cm for weeks, we had no idea when the baby would be coming.

Over the next couple days, Melissa began to have frequent Braxton Hicks Contractions. On Saturday December 5^th, Caleb’s due date, Melissa began to have very irregular but strong contractions. They were moderately painful and not at all like the Braxton Hicks she had been experiencing over the past few days.  As the day wore on, our emotions swung back and forth between excitement and frustration as Melissa’s contractions would come every 5-7 minutes for an hour and then they would stop if she stood up and walked around or changed positions. The rule-of-thumb is that you don’t go into the Birth Center until you’ve been having painful contractions 3-5 minutes apart for at least 2 hours.

Around 5pm something changed. The contractions started again, but this time, the pain level increased to the point that she began to moan and needed coaching to make it through each one.  Each contraction was no more than 5 minutes apart and most were 3 minutes apart. “Finally!” we thought, “its happening!”  But we didn’t want to be too hopeful just yet. Only time would tell… But as the Lord would have it, this time was different – Melissa could stand up and walk around and the contractions would intensify. She tried sitting on a Fitness Ball and they intensified. She tried lying down and they intensified. After an hour and a half of increasingly intense contractions, we figured that this was real labor. At this point, it was 6:30pm and we had just ordered dinner from Jason’s Deli and expected it to be delivered by 7, but by 7:30 it has still not arrived and Melissa’s contractions continued to grow stronger and more intense to the point that she had begun to almost scream during them. We quickly realized that the breathing techniques we had learned in birthing class were not sufficient to help her through the pain. Melissa just needed me there to hold her hand as she screamed her way through them.

I kept asking Melissa if she wanted to just go and forget the food but she would always answer that she could hold out until the food came (since you can’t eat after being admitted to the hospital and she wanted food!) Finally, at around 7:45 the food arrived we ate it in stages – something like this… Eat ¼ of sandwich, coach Melissa through contraction, eat another 1/4^th of sandwich and a gulp of juice… and coach Melissa through another contraction… Well, we finally made it through our meal and got ourselves in the car around 8:15pm. On the way to the new St. Francis Medical Center, I made calls to both of our parents as well as called a couple of friends who we had prearranged would be our points-of-contact to spread the word for us. I would make a call; Melissa would begin to scream; I’d hang up, and help her through it as best as possible while driving, and then make another call after that contraction was over.

We made it to the hospital in about 15 minutes and repeated a similar pattern there. We got out of the car and Melissa leaned on the car screaming in the parking lot. We walked half-way to the entrance and Melissa leaned on a pillar and screamed (mind you it was around below zero degrees at the time). We made it in the doors and the attendant saw what was going on and quickly got us a wheelchair. As my poor wife sat down, another contraction started.

After the contraction ended, I wheeled her up to the third floor where the birth center is and as we approached the doors, we saw that we had to push the “call” button for them to let us in. “DING!” a pleasant voice responded, “How can we help you?” For a brief moment, Melissa and I stared at each other not knowing what to say. I think I expected her to say something and I think she thought I was going to say something. After a moment of awkward silence, Melissa squeaked out, “I think I’m in labor.” No sooner had she started to say “Lab…” than the doors opened with a satisfying click. God was being kind to her because Melissa did not have another contraction from the time we got her in the wheelchair to the time she got into the triage room at the Birth Center.

The nurses had her undress and put on one of those lovely and attractive hospital gowns so they could check her out. She was hooked up to the fetal monitor and the “contraction monitor” (I have no idea what that one is called.) I coached her through perhaps 2-3 contractions before they checked her cervix. They confirmed what we had suspected! Melissa was nearly 5cm dilated and over 90% effaced! The nurse said she’d call the on-call doctor and get us over to the delivery room because Melissa was most certainly in active labor!

Just before we were taken quickly to the screaming labor/delivery room, the nurse asked a very important question… “Do you want an epi…?”  “YES!”  Melissa emphatically responded… “…dural?” the nurse trailed off as she smiled. By the grace of God the anesthesiologist was not terribly busy at the moment so he arrived at the labor room mere moments after we arrived. In a hysterical greeting card my mom had given Melissa months ago, it says “You’ll not love anything more than the precious baby… except the epidural! Try not to grope the anesthesiologist!”  Well, let me tell you that this man was suddenly Melissa’s knight-in-shining-armor! I willingly relinquished my long-held temporarily for the benefit of my darling wife! Within 5 minutes Melissa had the epidural setup and the contraction pain faded into nothingness. The doctor came in and broke Melissa’s bag of waters to encourage a faster delivery. This is standard procedure after an epidural as I understand.

By the time Melissa had gotten settled with the epidural, both sets of parents and Melissa’s youngest brother, Doug arrived in the waiting room.  Then, at my wife’s behest, I invited all five family members to come in and say hi. Melissa was feeling so good from the epidural that she was all smiles when they walked in the door! It took our parents by surprise considering that only 10 minutes prior, they had heard her screaming down the hallway. We had a lovely time chatting and sharing the stories of the day. At some point while the family was visiting, our nurse came in and put an oxygen mask on Melissa, not really explaining why other than she wanted to get more oxygen to the baby. After a short while, the family left and Melissa and I had some time to ourselves. I don’t quite remember what we talked about other than just marveling at the miracle of modern medicine. It amazed us that such an easy procedure could take so much pain away so quickly. Melissa could still feel the contractions, she explained, but they were like cramps instead of nearly unbearable pain. (I say nearly unbearable because although the pain seems impossible to cope with, somehow women do make it through it somehow.  I know if I was the one in labor that I’d have passed out hours before!)

About a half-hour later, our nurse, appropriately named Radiance came in and checked both Caleb’s and Melissa’s vitals. She didn’t like what she saw with the little one’s vitals. Just a few seconds after each contraction, his heart rate would drop a bit. It wasn’t an emergency she explained, but if they couldn’t get it improved, we’d have to consider a cesarean to get the baby out. She went on to tell us that the reason the heart rate would drop was possibly because the baby did not fit in the birth canal correctly. After she left, Melissa and I immediately prayed together. I then went outside and told the family. We all prayed together and commanded that the heart rate would stabilize. I went back into the room with Melissa and prayed once more with her over the baby and commanded the heart rate to normalize and not drop when it shouldn’t. At the next contraction, the baby’s heart rate didn’t drop! Talk about the power of prayer and speaking words of life!

Just a few heartbeats later, the doctor showed up and looked over the charts. He said it wasn’t an emergency, but that he wasn’t thrilled at the vitals either. He decided to check her progress thus far because it had been almost 2 hours since she had been dilated 5cm which is half-way to the full dilation of 10cm. Now, for those who don’t know, after the cervix dilates to 10cm, the baby can start to move down into the birth canal. They have a numbering system that describes how far the baby has dropped into the canal. We started at a -1 which means the baby was not fully engaged, but he was ready. The scale then moves forward to a +5 which is the crowning of the head. Usually they will have you start pushing as soon as you are fully dilated at 10cm to encourage the descent of the baby.  When the doctor again checked her progress he paused, opened his eyes in amazement, and then exclaimed, “You’re at 100% dilation and a +3!” Melissa jerked her head off the pillow and exclaimed, “What does that mean?” The doctor laughed and smiled as he said, “That means dear, that you are ready to push!” Melissa and I looked at each other in amazement and started to laugh. “Oh my gosh!  Oh my gosh!”  Our dear nurse Radiance came over to the bedside and took Melissa’s hand and smiled and laughed with us as she explained that this NEVER happens. It’s so rare for a baby to progress through labor this quickly! We were able to see the tip of his head already!

10 minutes later, we were prepared for the pushing and as Radiance finalized her bits and pieces, she asked how much I’d like to be involved in the process and I responded enthusiastically, “As much as possible!” She grinned from ear to ear, “That’s what I like to hear! Here, take her leg and hold it this way!” Now, I will spare the details that are too private to discuss on a public blog, but I will share that as our parents were outside and hearing what was going on, they heard nothing but giggling and laughing and some grunting there at the end coming from Melissa. She was elated! Whether it was the hormones going nuts or just the excitement of not having any measurable amount of pain, she was on cloud nine! During each pushing session she’d focus and amaze us at how well she could push! She had a mirror so she could watch the action and see the baby’s head as it crowned. I’m sure anyone outside the room listening could not have guessed a baby was being delivered with all the squeals of delight and laughter of Melissa along with the infectious laugh of our nurse Radiance! The nurse would laugh hysterically with Melissa each time my wife said, “I LOVE EPIDURALS!”

In between pushing, Melissa would tell her funny stories of her experiences with having her wisdom teeth removed and so many others. The funniest thing of all which had Melissa in stitches was how the epidural caused her left leg to go totally numb. I was holding on to her right leg, and Radiance was holding onto her left leg. Whenever Radiance would move her leg Melissa would burst out laughing because it didn’t feel like her own leg – she described the sensation (or lack thereof) as if it were someone else’s leg. She would have us squeeze her leg or foot and start giggling again because she couldn’t feel a thing! It was so much fun to have a light-hearted delivery!  It was like a stand-up comedy routine!

Less than 30 minutes later, Caleb Joshua Frank was born into this world, at exactly 12:26am weighing in at 9lbs and 5oz, 22in long with a head diameter of 14in. Yes, he was delivered as natural as possible with the exception of the epidural. I bow to my wife as a remarkable woman. I am so proud of what she achieved and how she progressed through the labor with such a great attitude!

The doctor handed me a pair of scissors and asked me to cut the cord! What an honor that was! It was like cutting through thick foam with crunchies inside. (Yes I think I just made up the word crunchies).  Right after birth they took the Apgar Score (Scale of 0-10 with 0 being still born and 10 being perfect) Caleb scored 8 at 1 minute after birth, and 9 at 5 minutes which is very encouraging and an indicator of a healthy baby. It was remarkable to me as a dad to see this little person come out of my wife. He was so perfect, so beautiful, and so peaceful. He didn’t cry, he didn’t fuss, and he just looked around with bright eyes taking it all in.

Because this story is so long, I will continue the rest of the story at a later time with the stories from the hospital, and those first few days. Suffice to say that the miracle of my son’s birth has left a mark on me that will last a lifetime. I never realized how quickly I could come to love someone so completely and deeply. He is our son. He is flesh of my flesh, the heir of my legacy. My prayer is that the Lord would work in my life so that I can indeed leave Caleb a legacy of honor, integrity, and most importantly, godliness. It’s not me, it was never about me. It’s all about Him, the Creator Eternal, the Everlasting to Everlasting, our heavenly Father. For from him and through him and to him are all things forever and ever… Amen.

Here are just some pictures to share and enjoy! To see all the pictures of Caleb’s Debut, all in high resolution, go to http://picasaweb.google.com/the.franky/CalebJoshuaFrank02#